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Contessa Louise Cooper
Ready? Yes. I am so glad that we made it to another week.. We made it. I'm so excited. Um, and our listeners and followers seem to be very excited about what we're doing. And here I am talking like, you know who I am. I am Contessa Louise and this is FahFo and I am a data witch.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
And I am Dr. Kimberly Douglas, which you could call me Dr. Kimberly or you can call me Kimberly. And I am a neurodivergent data witch.
Contessa Louise Cooper
So today we're going to be talking about time, and I think we came up with a really cool title like ticking and tocking. Yeah, since we bothl spend a lot of time on Tick Tock. And I was wondering how much time I spent on Tick tock, and tick tock doesn't give you that information about the personal time. And I'm pretty sure they do that. On purpose.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
Yes, I'm pretty sure. Okay, so, um, the first time I ever went to a casino, I was like, there's something weird about this place. And when I left, I realize what was weird about it. There are no windows in there, no clocks. So I forgot the poet who first wrote about purgatory. That's what I imagined purgatory being is a place where there are no windows and a clock. So you can see no light, and you lose sense of time, right? So you just kind of in this holding pattern. And when I think about Tick Tock in a lot of ways, I think about a casino, and I've heard people talk about how the algorithm runs like a casino. And it does, because you lose all track of time. And the windows that you have to the world are very limited. So Tick Tock is moving things around it, constructing things and putting things in your face, so that you have certain reactions, and so that you interact with other people in a certain way. So you really, your window into the world is based on what Tick Tock wants you to see. And I'm really excited about, you know, it just goes to show you how powerful the concept of time is. And I want to start by saying, time is a concept. We take time for granted, we think of time as something that's there, and it operates like this in there 24 hours in the day. But really time as we understand it is a social construct. And what that means is that it works the way in which people who have power in our society need for to work. One of the ways that it works is it keeps us producing in our society. So if you think back to like the producing the model, the Model T Ford on the assembly line in Frederick Douglas Frederick, I can't think of his name, he came up with the scientific method, I have to look it up, we came up with the scientific method, and the one best way to produce anything on an assembly line. And that is tied into this notion of time. And so when we think about our work, we think about our lives, time is one of the constructs that becomes a powerful part of that conversation. But we're going to flip this today, because we want to talk about how time works for our audience and people who have their own businesses. And in particular, and I learned so much by following you on Facebook and following you on tik tok. And you are funny as hell, but you also have extremely valuable, high quality content. And I'm always looking to learn from you and, and your journey is a spiritual leader. And I was wondering if you could just talk a little bit about data points. time as a data point, and how they relate to spirituality and take us down their path for a moment.
Contessa Louise Cooper
There is so much that I can say about time and the spiritual aspects of it, but I'm gonna keep it short for this time, we might have to do a part two. If you think about the universe, and how vast it is, and the stars and the planets and everything moving is seems to go on and on and on. I like those little diagrams so they show you the earth and then they show you the sun and they show you all this other things and we get smaller and smaller things. Smaller. And that makes me think about the time on Earth moves differently than the time in other places. Apparently, right? They say that you know, it takes this long and beside this saga time is moving at this speed and that speed who determine determines what time is because those of us who are spiritualist know that time is fluid. Time is not linear, like we all believe it's not like it's 12 o'clock, one o'clock, two o'clock. And things happen in that order. It's fluid. And so at any point in time, you can see the past, the present, and the future. You know, and that's why it's really important to being in the moment, a moment that you're in right now. It has a glimpse of the past, of the present. If you focus on this moment, right here, not what's going to happen, not what's about to happen, not the things that you're supposed to be doing. Just what are you doing right now, in this moment.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
I like this point, because what it makes me think about is like some meme I heard a while ago, and they were talking about one of the ways you can make yourself feel better is to appreciate the awesomeness of something like art is a powerful force. And I think about time, if I start to think about it, the level where you were talking about it, it blows me away scares me because it really blows me away. But then it got me to thinking, Okay, so people control time. And that is a way of controlling and managing people. But when you control time, what you're doing is you're trying to bite off a piece, and limit the awesomeness of time. It's never really thought about that before.
Contessa Louise Cooper
Yes, and that's why, when I'm speaking to entrepreneurs, I, one of the first things I say is you don't have to do things. Like you were taught, like you were told, you can set your schedule, any time you want, you can work anytime you want, you don't have to sit at your desk from nine to five, three o'clock in the morning, that's when you work the best, right? You don't have to work five days a week or seven days a week. Because to be honest with you, I work the best Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, you know, days that I really get going. And the other days I've just kind of slacking off a little bit. So to go back to like the data points. And we've talked about how tarot cards and playing cards and throwing the bones are data points, they're symbols, they're pitchers, and it has a meaning a collective meaning to what all these symbols mean that when do I have a collective meaning, but it has your own meaning to what it is. And so when you look at that, all that information is being processed in your mind. And so when it comes to time, there is a way that we can tell time when something may happen. Using cards and so I wanted to talk about Tarot and I have half my notes. Wait a minute.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
Okay. I wanted why you look why you looked it up the gas. Yeah, this guy's name is Frederick Taylor. I just thought about it. Yeah.
Contessa Louise Cooper
Yeah, I remember studying that.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
It has radically has shaped American life in so many ways. And I was thinking like, where you were, where you were just saying that you can set your schedule anytime, anywhere you want to. But then this notion that we must feel up every increment of time, that comes from people like Frederick Taylor, who's telling us how to maximize everything single second, we have how to shave off 10 seconds on the assembly line, putting a car together, how to shave off a moment here, like the person turning to the side as opposed to being forward on. And so then it changes everything. And it pushes us away from the conversation that you're introducing us to now and thinking about time is a spiritual aspect. From the spiritual aspect.
Contessa Louise Cooper
Yes, I was just about to say something One of the things that I had to unlearn is that you had to feel spill up every moment of every day doing something I was a Doer do do do. That was something that was ingrained to me by my parents who grew up working in factories. Yes, happy to get it done. Now now that and it is only can be done a certain way.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
That's right. And the thing, it doesn't make you a more effective business owner, it just does not one of the best coaching experiences I had was someone who was like, Okay, what this will work? What days of the week, do you want to work? I was like, Huh, wait, what you can do that. And this person was saying to me, you need to pick a day where you're not working during the week. Just because it's a weekday doesn't mean you have to work. You pick the days you want to work, which at the time I picked Tuesday through Thursday, you have a certain like new, if you're interviewing people to be clients, you do that one part of the day, you have existing class another part of the day, but you'd be very intentional about making sure you're not filling up every single day, every single moment working, because you need time away and you need the reflection time.
Contessa Louise Cooper
Absolutely. Also, I have, I don't have a very rigid schedule. And my work days and in my, you know, non workdays, and so in the morning time, is just Tessa the time. It is just be time and I can see it, doing whatever I want to do as long as it support me. Whether or not I'm doing yoga or I'm just sipping a cup of coffee or reading a book, or taking a bath, whatever it is, in the morning time. I'm doing it just for me. And that has made such a difference in my life to take that time. For me, we're getting off track but I love the way this
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
Yeah, I want to I want to hear more about the Tarot in the readings and how that relates to time. I think people will really appreciate this.
Contessa Louise Cooper
And so telling time And Tarot, so in Tarot you have what we call the four suits, you have to want to swords a cups and a Pentacles. And that's in the minor arcana. And there's a major arcana too, but we're not going to talk about those right now. And so when you're telling time using wands, it can either be days. So if you pull up the five of wands, it could be five days. Or it can be in the spring, depending on which quit what type of question you're asking. It can either be how many days in the future, or it can be a specific time period like spring. Okay, okay. swords is weeks. So if you pull up the five of swords, now it's five weeks. Hmm. Day. And the time of year is autumn. Okay, so, okay, okay. We got it. Yeah, it can get very specific, depending on the question that you're asking. Cups is months. So we talked about the days we talked about weeks of six months or the summer time. Pentacles is years or winter time.
Contessa Louise Cooper
Okay, ask me a question about your business. You know, how, and mostly, I don't like questions about time. Okay, those are my least favorite questions to answer. Because, again, time is fluid.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
So this is specifically about but when people come to you to ask you questions about time? Do they usually come with a certain mindset?
Contessa Louise Cooper
They do. They do. And it's usually a question about urgency, and it's usually about money. Okay, it's about money, right? Am I going to receive this money? When am I going to get a promotion? When am I going to see this change happen when and the problem with the time questions is, well, honey, it depends on you. Yes. Are you going to do what it takes to get a promotion Are you just going to sit around And wait for somebody to do it for you. Are you going to do what it takes to get a new job? Or you're going to do what it takes? leave your spouse, or you're going to do what it takes to have a successful business? Yeah. So why they're asking about time is really they don't want to do the work. Right.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
So So are they really asking about time? Or are they asking about some like is, I know that they may be asking about a spouse or whatever. But are they really asking you a different question?
Contessa Louise Cooper
They are definitely asking a different question. The question is, really, what do I have to do in order to get this end result that I desire? And they're hoping that the answer is Oh, you don't have to do much. He's just coming in. That's never the answer.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
Right? So time is sometimes the Fall Guy.
Contessa Louise Cooper
It is it is, actually. And because because sometimes, when I'm asking the answer soon, will soon in earth time is totally different than soon, in spiritual time. Right? Because it really is no soon. It can happen right now. But right. It's not happening right now. It's because you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
I'm circling back to the opening statement that I made. And just because if it is a construct, it's a social construct. And people come with a sense of urgency. What is their me? And we know that is relative, right? Because we made it up? don't guess what does that mean? I'm learning so much here. What does it mean, in terms of their ability to move forward with whatever they came to you with?
Contessa Louise Cooper
Some individuals are stuck. They feel like they're stuck. Because we don't really know how to get from point A to point B in their life, they can't see how to get there. And that's where me and you come into play, right? They need to talk to somebody about how to get there. Because the thing about being in a sense of urgency, I kind of see it, like a storm, you're in the dorm, and I can see around you is chaos, and no possibility. And it takes somebody who's on the outside of the storm, inside of the storm, to tell you what your next steps are, because we don't see that we can see your path because we're not emotionally involved.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
So would you say that people's ability to be detached from a situation has a lot to do with their relationship with time in that situation. Like, if I'm standing on the outside, and I'm supporting a business owner, or you're standing outside, you're supporting a business owner, you have a different relationship with time. And it's almost like that's why you can slow down and you can say, okay, step back, this is actually what it is, if on the inside it feels like this, because you feel that urgency. But on the outside it really like here's what's out here. So we like unravel a ball of yarn and lay out the different pieces, we can actually do that.
Contessa Louise Cooper
Absolutely. Because I don't have that sense of urgency. I can say, Okay, take a breath. Right? These are the next steps that we have to do. And just because it's not going to be in the time that you thought things should happen. That's the problem. We created this, the schedule of how things are supposed to happen in our life, not knowing that time is fluid. And just because you said, Oh my gosh, I have to have Cyprus, I have to have my rent paid by Friday. Well do you do because a lot of things can happen before Friday. Anything can happen before Friday.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
Yeah, this is interesting. And the rules that we think that we're living by are not always as hard and fast as we think they are. And again, a lot of that the way we perceive things, the way we're perceiving the things that bind us up. It constrains us a lot of that has to do with time and our just really fearful relationship with time. Like, when I think about the things that scare me the most. They usually have to do with time running out. Lack of scarcity.
Contessa Louise Cooper
Yeah, yes, yes, yes. And I think I'm pretty sure that that's something that's done purposeful will be, you know, you don't have a lot of time you don't have time is short life is short, you got to do this, you have to do that. And you don't I tell people all the time you are exactly where you are supposed to be. You are doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing right now, a lot of times I should have done this, I should have done that. No.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
You know, in a land long time ago, in a land far, far away, I used to be an administrator in higher education. And here's something I would say, and I'm sure pistes, other administrators all when people come to us, and I was in the graduate school with an emergency, don't react, step back, listen to what they're saying, because here's the thing. We're not doing brain surgery here. There are no emergencies here. The only thing what we looking at is a manufactured problem. That is probably happening that 9 times out of 10 because a person didn't want to do something, or somebody didn't do their job, or somebody drag their feet, or somebody anxieties and in there's like a whole thing we could do on time anxiety, yes, but it's not the is even if they're telling you the whole truth. There still is another truth that has to do with how we prepare for this moment. So now they come to us, and everything is so urgent, if you don't do it right now the sun is gonna fall out of the sky and crash into the ocean. And it's like, we don't do brain surgery, we should not have, I should I do not want to manage a staff, where I pretend like we're doing brain surgery, and we're not doing brain surgery, that is emotional abuse to me to, to treat them it is just plain on this treatment to treat them. Like everything is so urgent when it's actually not urgent, because it actually gets in the way of doing quality work if you're constantly in crisis mode. So it's the whole thing we do on time and crisis and crisis management. No, you know a lot about that. But, um, but in terms of settling ourselves, one of the things that we can do is really start to dig in and investigate our relationship with time. And really, and I'm really happy that you're talking about this from a spiritual point of view, because it's not enough to just look at the clock. There are so many other sources that we can consult that tell us different things about time.
Contessa Louise Cooper
Yes, and it tells us that things are always changing, the only true constant in this world is change nothing stays this same. And one of the hardest things to understand as an entrepreneur is just because you plan this out, nine times out of 10 that's not the way things are going to happen. And so you can't have this rigid plan, right? And freak out every time something doesn't go your way because honey is not going to
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
And in the flip side of that, because I think that's true on both sides, which is that the things that we worry about, like we're there, that's a type of planning, the things that we worry about, much more than likely are not going to actually happen. They in I think about that in my own life and things that I was concerned about in my business. And it's like but today came to pass and I'm okay. It's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be
Contessa Louise Cooper
that one moment. And it's like being in the middle of the ocean and dropping a drop of water. That one thing that you're so worried about is a drop of water in this vast ocean is just a moment. how long your life is. Yes, one moment. Yeah. And you're letting one moment. Determine your future. Right? That's why we don't react out of emotions out of urgency, right?
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
Right. Yeah. Yeah. And this is this is tricky because we're a lot of neurodivergent people. Even if they are listening to what we're saying. It's like Okay, wait a minute. Yeah, that makes sense. The people around them are Trying to enforce this concept of time, which is which can be very unsettling for them. And I've seen it happen a lot in school where kids don't really have the time they need to develop a topic or work on something that's interesting to them. And because school is based on an 1800,hundreds model, it's just been patched over and over again. And it's based on Frederick Taylor scientific method of mass production. And, you know, listening to the whistle going to lunch at this time doing this this time. And, and quite frankly, like when my son was in a situation, he didn't want to eat lunch at 1030 in the morning, it just eaten breakfast. And so with the people around us, the systems around us constantly reinforced this notion that things are supposed to be done at this time at this time, at this time at this time. And so here's, again, time is the gateway to talk about a lot of different things like and the more we talk, the more I see that I can, I can feel that I can sense that. Because see, now what we're talking about, is deciding what environments you're going to put you and or your children in. And just because it's public school, or it's accredited, or this or that, but if it's wrecking their emotional well being, it doesn't fucking matter.
Contessa Louise Cooper
No, and I wish my parents would have the knowledge that we have today. Because I struggled in school, everything was very had to do this at this time, you had to do this, this stuff, all the tests were timed, and I'm like, I needed time to actually think about and process the information in front of me. And as soon as I got going, it was over. And it was time to do some right. I'm like, right, I'm not done with this, right.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
And one thing I noticed, like the two of us are very reflective people. And so part of the conversation for us, I noticed this, when we I was just thinking about how we talk to each other, especially when we don't have a like trying to get to something. There's a period in which we just stop talking. It's okay. Right. And so like those, that silence is uncomfortable for a lot of people. And I think a lot of that has to do with this relationship with time. And the anxiety we create around time, the work for me, reflection is part of the work. And there are times when you and I talk, and we start down a path. And it's not mission creep, that is really us having a meaningful conversation. And we need a moment to just breathe and step back and not be rushed. And that's like, oh, or if we're trying to figure something out, we recognize that there's something there. And we give it time to develop. And we think TV has a lot to do with this too. Because we as a society think that we have to have the answer in that moment. It has to come back and you know, it has to be back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. But it doesn't This is why like nigerian movies, because they will lay into a scene and develop the conversation and be like, Oh my god, would they please move on? No, they're not gonna move on, because that's not how they operate. But we lay into a scene where it's like, oh, okay, huh? Huh? Okay, and then it comes gushing out like water. hose.
Contessa Louise Cooper
And it's a beautiful thing to watch. And it's, it does something to my spirit. I have the ability, that we give each other permission to have that moments of silence where we're just being reflective and thinking about, you know, the things that we just discussed. Yeah. I enjoy that. A lot of you. Yeah.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
Thank you. And I enjoy that about you as well. I appreciate that. Because what it says to me is that you appreciate me as a person that I see and recognize. Yes, yes, yes. And it's enough to go too far to ask because I'm going to wrap it up. Like ish, where I've had abandonment issues in my life. And this is a whole other show. My reaction to that has been okay, well, we got to hurry up. We got to figure it out. We got to do this, we got to do this, we're gonna do this. It's about trying to grab it everything so that it doesn't get away. So by taking the time to have those conversations, whatever the conversation is trying to do, what we're saying is we're we're operating with the assurance, the self assurance, that it's going to be here. It'll be okay. There's time to develop your ideas don't have to rush. I'll accept them. I doesn't mean I have to agree with them, but I'll accept them. And we'll get to it.
Contessa Louise Cooper
Yes, it, you will get to it exactly when you're supposed. Exactly, exactly.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
And that's people, this ideas, the things you do in your business, it's all those things. And so that reflection time, if you're around people who do not allow that reflection time, I might want to check that. Because they are pushing you, you are allowing them to push you to be in a space where you may not really want to be
Contessa Louise Cooper
allowing them to push you that that did something, it's like, oh, yeah, I'm allowing this to happen. And then we need to talk about boundaries and things like professional boundaries. And Whoo, that's gonna be another show. talk to you about that. Because many of us don't have boundaries.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
Yes. Oh, yes. So as we wrap up, can you give us another of your final words of wisdom about divination, and about time, and how all these things come together.
Contessa Louise Cooper
One of the things that I really want to encourage our listeners to do is to remember that you are the one who can set the time, and the tone for how you live your life, and how you operate in that. And I know that some of us work jobs, and we're not able to, but that's something that we can start to move towards. Sometimes that means entrepreneurship.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass
Yes. And yes, it does mean that for a lot of people, thank you so much. I'll say my final piece, and then you can take us on out of here. But this is just a really good talking, I learned a lot from you about all this consider myself a very spiritual person. And so what you're, what you're doing for me, is you're adding data points for me, that is showing me an adding meaning adding data points, helping me visualize what spirituality is, for me in time is one of those constructs that change the visualization is, as we move through time, you know, my notes and my data points over here, somewhere in the near here. So this is just a really fruitful conversation. And thank you for giving us this. Thank you. It's a gift.
Contessa Louise Cooper
Thank you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. And I want to thank everyone who can hear the sound of my voice for listening and participating in the Datacast with the neurodivergent data, witches is we do this every single week. Don't forget to subscribe. Don't forget to tell your friends. And we will be back. Next. All right. All right. All right. Bye.